People can feel angry, jealous, stressed or under the influence of alcohol and substances at times. However, these are not excuses to hurt and scare our partners, ex-partners, and children.
Anger and domestic abuse
Anger is not the cause of domestic abuse.
Everyone feels angry sometimes, but the key to any feeling is how we express it and how our emotions affect people around us negatively, particularly our partners and children.
When you feel that you have been wronged by your partner or are angry at something they have (or haven’t) done, you need to be able to stop yourself from using abusive and violent behaviours. Up until the moment you are violent and abusive, you always have the choice to act differently.
Putting strategies in place to manage your anger healthily is the first step in a process that can help you stop the anger from escalating into violent or abusive behaviour.
Jealousy
Jealousy is something that most of us have experienced at some point in our lives. Most people can identify and manage their jealous thoughts and feelings.
Many people who have been violent, abusive, and controlling towards their partner identify jealous behaviours as a particular challenge for them.
Stress and domestic abuse
Stress is something that most of us experience from time to time.
It’s a feeling of being under too much pressure and can be a normal response to the ups and downs of life. The key to any emotion is how we express it and how our feelings affect people around us negatively, particularly our partners and children.
Many people who have been violent, abusive, and controlling towards their partner identify feelings of stress as a particular challenge because it can contribute to their behaviour. Where there has been violence and abuse in your relationship, it might feel easy to excuse your behaviour because you felt stressed. However, being stressed is not the cause of domestic abuse. Identifying what stress is and how it manifests for you before putting strategies in place to manage your stress healthily is the first step in a process that can help you stop the anger from escalating into violent or abusive behaviour.
Alcohol, drug use and domestic abuse
Alcohol and substance misuse are not the reason or an excuse for being abusive in a relationship. They do, however, make matters worse and can prevent people from taking responsibility for their behaviours by saying that they were drunk or under the influence.
If you are suffering from problematic drinking or substance misuse issues, we can refer you to experts who can help address these areas in your life, as well as support you in addressing your domestic abusive behaviours.
